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Wednesday, January 11, 2012
10:54 AM

Life hits hard too fast its amazing how we have to deal with the most unusual heartbreaking things.I went in a up and down roller coaster with a mr. ithoughtt he was right Joshua Khelae Neal.Drugs got to him quicker than yoy can say this sentence. Unfortunately he with instead of a intelligent sweet kind loving clean girl hes with a dirty uncaring manipulative 28 years old crack head.its amazing. you think you did everything right he hates me because i found out everything true that he didn't want to share with me, he lied to me i was something like his money maker. seduced and manipulated. that i was.Yet i can't help but to think i just wonder what if he wasnt on drugs would he still hate me for finding out the past? ah well this is something that's been on my heart its a love hate thing know? yet i feel like he was never there anyway so why do i feel the way i feel confused.... i will be back on trac soon all i can say is that its another day,another boyfriend you will forget about him later and look back and say wow i wanted that?

Tuesday, March 1, 2011
1:41 PM

Of all the things people do and say..... i don't exactly know what to put in this post. i know what i want to say but is it worth it? I cried last night over stuff that was internally painful things that i can simply fix by just saying yes or no.WHY? why is it that those two small words are the hardest to say to people.When you care for someone how does that get in the way?here's situation #1 happy go lucky all about life type person never really angry and if so they shake it off within mins. problem this person doesn't even know what they want out of life? well as far as love is concern he brings down this girl he claims to be more interested in as far as potential relationships are concern yet he can't even resist himself around other girls especially those who are close to home. the girl feels like shes constantly being toyed with and she really doesn't even want to continue on with this friendship relationship type deal she wants to keep it at friendship and nothing more. every time these two spend time away they blush at each other shy away in a bubbly lovidovie situation.the girl is trying to figure if this guy she likes will ditch her for someone else in an instant or will he gently let her know hes not interested anymore.either way its alwaays to the girl going to feel like she wasted her time when he could of answered her question honestly.

situation #2 it started like a real teenage love affair the one where you like each other sooo much and don't know what to do then once you start going out with each other the guy within a couple of weeks decide he doesn't like you anymore....this person is politically charged and obsess with other countries less of his own and tends to get selfish at time yet he is a caring caring person who is there in a time of NEED. i describe this person in a recent post or the situation.this guy has a hunger like no other ive ever known..... i do too yet hmmm this one is complicated to type i'll just leave it at if you're gonna be a friend lets be friends and be supporting not judging

Ah well that's life for yA im gona just post this and finish my homework............

Monday, February 7, 2011
1:02 PM

okay so im starting see things changing drastically, for better or worse who knows....but right now i like what i see.I am sustaining a JOB lol thats paying rent and giving me that little extra to make it and yes this job is stressful and hard to sustain.i am finally enrolled in school and getting everything my teachers are teaching the first time instead of having to go over it next semester. since things are somewhat stable right about now i ve been looking into my nutrition class alot more i am seeing that i am very unhealthy and i am setting myself up.. i realized that almost everything we eat and drink is enough for two not just one and i also realize i am skinny but i haven"t been getting the right nutrition lately im slackin on the veggies and other things so guess what im gonna do!? i call it the wellness project...I am going to shape my body,mind and spirit into one big healthy ball! and soo i hope im ready to start tommorow should be fun anyways gotta go i will be back!!!

Thursday, October 21, 2010
1:20 PM

so far in my life things are changing for the better. i do feel like im setting myself up for pain all the time. i do love all the people who are in my life and i hope that they can stay close. the picture above is how feel one big emottional rollercoaster at its peak.but i am proud of myself.I am also learning alot about me know? how the lack of emotion and love in my childhood has carried itsself in my adulthood hence my relationships with others friend or boyfriend too me are strong and everlasting and shouldnt shatter... ever. i do love hard because the feeling of a hug is amazing a pat on the back is sweet yet my obession for love and caring is overwhelming.

where the real deal? i already have it but with me tyring to spoil myself and have it everyday is a problem.loneliness is ten times evident.but i know i need to strive for better evertime.better what? relationships,goals and respect. the last was a quick little something on how i felt one day and kinda still how i feel today.though i am not angry i need to get stronger. i can be a loner like i was but when amazing people enter my life or friends are on vaycay from school what d i do because i know for sure all is going to gone and lost in a short period of time. anyways i shouldnt think like that im battling winning and losing i feel like going mia but i cant.. but lets et this new adventure started im excited scared and all but im strong sooooo lemme get to work lol bye!!!!

p.s peanut pirate if your reading can you txt willie and ask him about the sandwhich i think he himself can explain it better than i can. and i must thank you again for being a driving force in my life oh yea and sickdowluh!!!!!!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010
8:27 PM

my childhood past i know.the echo of my dreams i feel thier reality is never real. why do i stand low when i should stand high why do i love love and love hates me all the time.i build brick fences and rails around my heart and yet one prick can tear that shit apart i never understand my obsession.
what happens after long line of that is in fact fatal.igetsick in the head heart and eyes pain shoots through my heart and then i start to cry i do not understand my obessesion.

once everythings all said and done i have withdrawl symptoms i begin to get unhealthy thoughts with a slew of affection for a someone no one who doesnt feel the same way who cant see me the way i see them sometimes a knight in shining armour, a king of with great gifts a kind loving person at there best. one after the other cycles go on and on and on my heart beatened batterd shut close still then this one guy comes along..

.would remind me of the antichirst perfomrs miracles on a dead heart brought it back to life when i thought i lost it, but i didnt now what was hiding in his back pocket.trust was what i put into it i wasnt afraid my heart bleeding open due to all the pain ... and happiness provided to me from the one and only offred me the real deal... at least thats how he made me feel..and told me.

and then one rainy day while im sittin chiliin all alone my phone starts ringing while i was trying finish singing this love song feeling in my heart happiness joy knowing that im not being treated like a toy the sound of his vioce didnt sound reassuring i knew what was coming. to make a long story short the sword was drawn and stabbed into my heart i dunno what to think anymore all i kno is that after the last blow i was done and the cycle begins again.i am now obessing.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010
8:09 AM

OKAY okay okay i know its been a while. and maybe i should open up a new blog yea? well i decided to do both .... or three even we will see otherwise i am now a security gaurd no more gruling specialty;s labor and best part of all waaay better pay which meens more shopping fun! i still plan on doing a small video blog on youtube of course but for now lets see whats up with my new blog.... i want to still do some personal things but i dont want to broadcast it for everyone too know sooo i must say people read my blogs alot which insnt a bad thing... well anywho i catch ya later with another cool scoop! see ya and she is signing off!

Monday, March 29, 2010
7:49 PM

Lol so i havent blogged in like forever especially with my camera charger missing,my new phone broken and my youtube accout put on hold my life has been going in circles over and over.I would love to talk about the latest ideas i have and all but i need pics whats the point of a semi personal blog without the pics???? check me out iwill get my camera charger and i will take pics capeesh lol so things will work out right? will see....


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Jlynni am ready to search the world.i love love and i am and ready to have fun with it i am a very creative girl who dreams of only cream puffs and love any kawaii items and i am here to share it with you. this is my poisonkimono


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